Monday, January 4, 2016

Heroic Age in 5 panels.

I hereby declare this an "Heroic Age", a new and brighter age where heroes act like heroes again. In this new golden age, we, the Avengers, will...

Fight Wonder Man.

Put the blame Iron Man for stuff.

Lie and manipulate a bunch of mentally damaged teenagers.

And I will be an even bigger hypocrite than usual, and become a member of the Illuminati.

And what else will happen in this OH SO HEROIC age of your, Rogers? You will make Maria Hill the leader of the Avengers?

.... Well, yes.


Saturday, January 2, 2016

Red She-Hulk in 5 panels.

Red She-Hulk! We are Machine Man and Nikola Tesla. And we want you to prevent a future where super-soldiers destroys the earth!

Sure thing! I have a cunning plan...


... Nicely done, Red She-Hulk! Now, the army is going to mass-produce super-soldiers sooner than expected! AND you killed a man, which makes you a wanted criminal, and the Avengers are going to arrest you! CONCTRATS!

... Betty did bad.

Shark-jumping to the rescue!

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Bendis Month(and a half): Ultimate Spider-Man

A problem for comicbook writers can be the long history of the characters they write. While some writers embrace the characters past and tries to dig up moments, friends and enemies from the main character's history(Like Greg Pak and James Robinson), others can have a hard time writing the story THEY want to write and at the same time being sure not to not peeve of the fans who either knows the hero's history very well or just spends way too much time on Google just so that they can say; you made a mistake, so you suck raccoon balls!
Writers don't really have that problem anymore, since respecting continuity is apparently not that big a deal anymore... Unless you are Mark Waid.
STOP talking trash about Waid for writing Daredevil, for Christ's sake!
Anyway, back in year 2000, when retcon was not as accepted as it is today, Marvel created the Ultimate Universe. A whole new universe where writers could recreate the iconic heroes of Marvel and telling stories without worrying about forgetting Spiderman's uncle's father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate's middle name.
So, with the chance to give Spiderman new life, did Bendis succeed in re-creating everyone's favorite superhero?
I mean, how would that be possible when he was writing everyone's second favorite superhero; Spiderman?
Alright, jokes aside: Yes. I think Bendis did a great job with his 134 issue long series. Was it perfect? Heck no. How could it be when the same guy wrote ALL 134 issues? Eventually, he had to make mistakes or less than great stories(like a Clone Saga that was LESS enjoyable than the original one, if you can believe that).
Bendis makes some interesting decisions. Like making Peter's uncle and aunt old hippies and Gwen Stacy a badass punk girl. And he even creates some new ones, like Kenny “Kong” McFarlane, a stereotype dumb bully who evolves the most of all the supportive characters.
The re-creation of Spidy's bad guys is... hit and miss. Mostly miss, really. Green Goblin being a giant Hulk-thingy is weird when you consider the fact that he is called the Green GOBLIN, as in a small creature. Doc Octopus has magnetic powers instead of just robot arms seems unnecessary. And turning Kraven into a joke? Dude!
But I really like the idea of turning Rhino into a mecha. And Venom being a failed attempt to find a cure for cancer? I'm not sure if that is awesome or unintended hilarious. It's... Awearious!
Another strength of this series is it's world-building. From the beginning, Spider-Man is part of a universe of mutants, gods, and monsters. For example, Norman Osborn’s Oz formula that turns Peter Parker into Spider-Man is his attempt to re-create the superserum that produced Captain America, who later appears in "Ultimates". From one time to another, Spider-Man isn’t left alone and helpless, and gets SHIELD backup, whether he likes it or not. He and Nick Fury has a mentor/student like relationship throughout the series, even if the two of them don't always get along. As well as telling a story of it's own, Ultimate Spider-Man acts as a tour guides to the world of the Ultimate Marvel Universe.
But really, there is one reason, AND only ONE REASON you really need to read this series:

Mark FREAKING Bagley!
I would read One More Day, JLA: Cry For Justice, Black Adam And Isis, and a Emma Frost solo-series and yet STILL somehow enjoy them if they had been drawn by this human-shaped wonderful creature who decided to bless the world with his art.
Mark Bagley is the best answer to ANY question known to man.
That's all for now. I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Monday, December 28, 2015

Bendis Month(and a half): Dark Avengers.

There came a day where racers fought... And evil saved the planet Earth!
Due to his importance in the event of "Secret Invasion", Norman Osborn has been made director of SHIELD(renamed HAMMER). Osborn is in charge of... well, pretty much everything, actually.
It's the Dark Reign!
But That's not all. Osborn makes his own team of Avengers, the one the public recognize as the REAL Avengers. But these so-called Avengers aren't heroes. They are murdered and madmen, dressed up as iconic heroes. Bullseye takes the costume of Hawkeye, Moonstone dons the role as Ms Marvel, Venom becomes Spiderman, Daken steels his father's name, and Osborn leads them as the Iron Patriot. And Ares and Sentry as... well, Ares and Sentry.
The world's greatest protectors are monsters. But they are monsters who get's the job done.
... How can something that sounds so badass be SO BORING!
The two big threads they face are not that great, since they had to be killed. Sure they are POWERFUL, but being powerful is not the same as being an interesting villain. And the fights are pretty much the same: The Dark Avengers attacks, Ares is owned, the villain shows how insanely powerful he/she is, and then Sentry kills the threat, scaring everyone with how powerful and nuts he is.
And the art is really muddy. I guess the style was suppose to give the book a dark tone, but I just think it looks muddy.
I like the idea with Dark Avengers, but it could have been executed better. The book could have been one of the most provoking mainstream superhero-comics of newer time, but it didn't do enough. And that is sad.
I've said it before, but I honestly don't think that Bendis is that great with team books, or any book that has powerful heroes(such as Sentry) since he believes that power corrupts(which is a really bad theme in a SUPERHERO COMIC!). Bendis should stay away from Avengers, and write stuff like Daedevil and Ultimate Spiderman.
That's all for now. I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Bendis Month(and a half): Mighty Avengers.

After the crossover event "Civil War", the heroes of the Marvel U had been divided by ideology. Some heroes decided to become registered superheroes, while others chose to become outlaw heroes, hunted by both the government as well as heir former friends. Therefore, there was now two teams of Avengers; the outlaw freedom fighters and the government's own version of the Earth's mightiest heroes. Today, I'm going to voice my opinion about the later. It's a series called "Mighty Avengers".
Mighty Avengers title was doomed before Bendis even started to type the story.
The problem here is that Bendis was the writer of both New Avengers and Mighty Avengers. AND that he was unable to be neutral. It's pretty clear that Bendis was siding with the heroes who were against registration. And that's okay, he is allowed to side.
What is not okay is him manipulating us into being against pro-registration heroes. When Bendis writes Mighty Avengers, he makes the team as unlikable as he can. They are jerks, wackos and b%tches. He makes sure that we won't root for these guys at all.
And he even makes Iron Man look even more like a villain by making him build satellites that can control the weather.
Satellites that controls the weather!
And don't tell me that it's something Tony would do! It's not! And it's WAY out of his area. Look, we get it, Bendis. We do! You don't like Iron Man because you think he is an arrogant rich guy who wants to be king of the world. That power corrupt. But do you really have to mash it into our face that you don't like Iron Man? Do you have to make him the villain of Civil War? Can't you understand that he is not just YOUR character, that other writers are writing comics about Iron Man and at the same time tries to respect your continuity? Couldn't you do the same for them, instead of making him the Judas Iscariot of Marvel Comics?
... Mighty Avengers DID give us one great thing, though: Ares, the god of war... AS A SUPERHERO!
Aaaand then he was killed in Siege, so...
This story doesn't feel as well constructed as the New Avengers book. We get the opening story-ark thrown into our face before we get properly introduced to the team and it's not that great, really. The artwork is actually not that bad. We get some pretty good action scenes, but only in a chaotic, loud Transformers movie kind of way.
But I will actually recommend picking up Mighty Avengers... but only if you skip the 20 first issues. Starting from issue 21, Dan Slott becomes the writer, and he makes the most Avengers-like series since Busiek's run, and even reminded us that Hank Pym is awesome.
That's all for now. I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Bendis Month(and a half): The Pulse

First page, and I'm already in love.
Not because of the story.
Not because of the characters.
Not because of the big-time writer.
But because of Mark FREAKING Bagley!
If you have followed my blogs, you probably know that...
... Na, barely no one does.
But I am a big fan of the New Warriors. So besides that his artwork is great, there is also a nostalgic mechanism in my brain that activates once it sees Bagley art and yells: "LOVE IT, DON'T ASK WHY!". Seriously, I could read a Frank Miller comic and STILL love it because I adore the artwork. So being objective can be a problem. But I will try.
This comic is... different. We have seen journalists who are superheroes in comics before, but not superheroes who are journalists. You may think that they are the same thing, but they are not. Let me explain; Clark Kent is a journalist. There are many reasons to why he is a journalist, but one of them is that he needs a job where he can easily be close to situations where Superman are needed without his secret identity being threatened. It's a paycheck with benefits. But here, Jessica Jones is hired by  newspaper BECAUSE she is a superhero. She is hired because of her contacts within the hero community. I honestly don't get why no one has thought of this idea before.
And YES, I realize she is more like an analysts who assist a journalist, but you get my point.
But if you are a fan of the series "Alias"(that I gave a rather harsh review the other day, and I consider rewriting it) I'm afraid that I must disappoint you; it's not a Jones series. It's a series where Jones is a character in it. And if you enjoyed her... colorful language(I didn't) then you will be disappointing yet again, since this is NOT a Marvel MAX series, but a mainstream one. All swearing is censored.
This is not so much a superhero comic as it is a journalist series. It's about the newspaper the Daily Bugle. About Ben Urich, a reporter who has had... less than fortunate days, but now finally seem to get back in the game. About Jonah J Jameson, a man who fights a fierce battle in order to keep his beloved newspaper alive. About what it means to be a journalist in the Marvel Universe.
The series is far from perfect, sure. But the first 5 issues story-line is gold, possibly the best Bendis story I've ever read.
I highly recommend The Pulse, especially the first TPB named "Thin Air". I can't recall the last time a comic could make me feel sympathy for JJJ.
That's all for now. Next time: Mighty Avengers... kill me...
I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

Bendis Month(and a half): Alias.

See those dots? That's me, taping the keyboard, unsure what to say.
I... expected more. I really did. If there is one thing you can be sure of, it's that Bendis has a huge arsenal of stories to tell. Some great, some not so great. What seems to be his trademark flaw is his use of retcon. Some would argue that it is his greatest strength, that he doesn't get TOO tied up of continuity. Others say that he is armed with a chainsaw, cutting continuity to pieces.
Retcon is necessary in order to keep the comic-book industry going. That's just how it is, we like it or not. But it's also a tool that should not be abused and overused. And I feel that the creation of Jessica Jones is.
Was it really necessary to create a new character who we all now has to pretend was always there? Couldn't Bendis have dug up a old character who actually had been in comic-book limbo for some time now? And if not... does she really have to be one gigantic woman in refrigerator?
How many female superheroes has a past that includes being raped? Jade, Hawkeye, Black Cat, the Huntress, Ms Marvel, Black Canary... How come so many writers has this need to ad sexual assault to a character's history JUST because she is female? Rape is not a gimmick. It's a very serious issue, not something that makes us roll our eyes. Because that's what happens; the shock fades away and we just think: "Ugh! Another heroin who has been raped?! REALLY?!" And we are not suppose to do that! We are not suppose to be used to and/or become bored by rape!
There could be several reasons to why Jones was depressed. SEVERAL!!! But NO! She was a evil man's victim. Because that's what we expect. That's what we are used to.
I'm sorry, I really am... But it pisses me off!
Putting aside my anger over gender stereotypes... The comic was kinda... okay. Actually a little boring. Seriously, most of issue six is about Jones talking with Ms Marvel about their sex-life. And I'm not too keen on the art either. And the constant swearing is pretty tiring.
All in all, I would advice you to skip this one.
That's all for now. I'm Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.